Taking down his online dating profile

Julie Spira is a best-selling author, cyber-dating expert, and radio show host. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and hosts the weekly radio show, “Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert”. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com where singles and couples can share their online dating stories.

Reader question 1: Taking down online dating profile
My boyfriend and I met through an online dating site and have been happily dating for 7 months. Or so I thought.

He still has his dating profile up on the dating site where we met and he’s been on it in the last few days. What is the etiquette on dating profiles? Shouldn’t he take it down?

I mean, does he need an invitation that lets him know that we are dating and it’s inappropriate to keep his online dating profile up? Mine is still there, but I haven’t gone on it in over 6 months. What gives?

Dating dud

Julie Spira’s Answer:
You can’t be much of a dating dud if you have a boyfriend that you met online. The issue of when to take down a profile needs to be discussed by the two of you at an appropriate time.

After 7 months of dating, you need to ask yourself if you are dating, or if you are both in an exclusive relationship.

When you have the “relationship talk”, it should include the topic of retiring the online dating profile if you decide to be exclusive. Without that conversation and agreement, your boyfriend will feel it is appropriate to have a “Plan B” in the event your relationship doesn’t work out.

Men like to go fishing, just to make sure they have the best fish in the sea. You can’t make him take down his profile, but if he doesn’t do it on his own, start dating. There isn’t a commitment.

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