R Don Steele is the famed author of How To Date Young Women: For Men Over 35, Body Language Secrets and A Man’s Guide To Women, and has provided his dating expertise in over 400 radio interviews. With a no-nonsense approach to the dating world, R Don Steele tells it like it is and helps men find the women they want every time.
Question 1: Dating married man
I am currently dating a man I am completely in love with. The problem is, he is married with two kids. He told me from the get-go that he would never leave his wife but he treats me so great when we’re together that I’m sure he’ll leave her to be with me once all his kids turn 18 (in 2 years).
Perhaps I’m being naive (that’s what all my friends tell me), but I really believe that this is the man for me.
If he won’t be with me, then I’d rather be alone. Do you think I’m fooling myself? By the way, he’s 54 and I’m 26, but I really believe that our age difference is irrelevant here.
R Don Steele’s Answer:
The age difference is not “irrelevant” to him! It is one of the primary reasons he’s with you! It’s evolution! It’s primal. Men want a fertile woman. Young women are fertile!
As for marrying you? When a man says that he won’t bluntly and firmly, that’s what he means and that’s what his plan is. That does not mean he cannot change is mind.
It does mean that, as far as he’s concerned, you know the score and you like what you two have without the promise of marriage. Further, love is so rare and so wonderful, I believe in caring for it and tending it and making it grow and blossom any place whenever it happens.
However, I do not know if he loves you. So my recommendation is for you to become more romantic with him, however you want to do that. If you two have just been meeting at your place and having sex, and he leaves you and goes home, you must plan a date that is romantic – something he can’t resist.
You have to gradually ease him off his “sex only” mindset and into a dating relationship. If he does profess his love for you and is not romantic, you must express your desire for him to be romantic with you.
Finally, I believe that it is unwise to give up on him until you have followed the above plan and he professes his deep undying love for you but still won’t leave his wife.
That would be in about six months after you have a loving sexual romance full of love being expressed verbally and physically shown.