The Problem With Short Men

Problem with short men

For thousands of years, size really did matter. The bigger men were, the more likely they were to have had better nutrition and therefore have better hunting skills.

But we came out of the caves ages ago, so why are women still seemingly programmed to pursue men who are taller rather than, say, guys who are closer to their own height?

According to 157 women, a short man is a man who is 5’7″ or shorter. Men who stand 5’8″ to 5’11″ are considered average, and anything 6′ and above constitutes tall.

So what is it about short men that makes women opt for instant rejection? Why are women so hell-bent on finding a tall man when most women don’t usually get much taller than 5’5″?

Howard Goldberg, the Montreal-based writer/director of S&M: Short and Male, who himself stands at 5’3½” without his lifts (5’5″ with), says, “It’s natural for a man to feel inadequate if he’s shorter than the woman. Or for the woman to feel as if she’s going out with a child if the man is shorter than she is.” Ouch!

The filmmaker admits that he ended becoming friends with a lot of women whom he had a romantic interest in simply because of his stature.

And he’s not alone. I recall watching some reality dating show where the woman rejected a perfectly wonderful man simply because he was short. And she told the camera when she was alone that she and her friends made a pact that none of them would ever reproduce with short men.

When asked what the deal is with why women, who stood no taller than 5’5” themselves, wouldn’t date shorter men, here were the most popular answers:

Problem with short men

Short in the pants

A lot of the women who dated shorter guys say that the guys were short “all around” and believe that if that is the case for short guys, then that fact must work in the favor of tall guys, too.

Personally, I don’t disagree with this one. I have dated men of all shapes and sizes, and although the tall guys did have long penises, some of them also had what I call “pencil d*cks”, so there’s no satisfaction there. And the truth, in this case, is subjective.

The “Napoleon complex”

The derogatory term was thrown around from just about every woman I spoke with, but I’m not certain that all the women were actually sure about the term.

“He was incredibly aggressive when the situation didn’t really warrant it.” Gina said.

“He always wanted to start a fight when we would go out,” said Allison.

Many of the other women stayed on the same page in the conversations, but I don’t think that it was because the men were short that they behaved like this. Perhaps it was just their temperament.
According to a renowned psychologist: “There’s no evidence a Napoleon complex exists, no evidence short men are disproportionately aggressive. Aggression is equal among all heights.”

Unfortunately, we tend to take notice more so when the aggression is coming from someone in a small package.

Tries too hard

Most of the women I spoke to always made mention of their short boyfriends trying too hard to compensate for what they were lacking in height.

One woman claimed that her boyfriend really beefed up to make up for what he lacked in height and ended up looking even shorter.

Another woman claimed that her boyfriend asked her to help him become a greater lover by being honest about the ways to please her. She, of course, has since married him.

So sometimes trying too hard isn’t a bad thing, huh?

Gets defensive

“Any time anyone laughed around my short boyfriend, he acted as though they were laughing because he was shorter than me.” After a while it became so irritating that I walked.”

Maybe after being made fun of your whole life growing up, it’s only natural to feel defensive about the very thing that you were made fun for… after all, why do you think Enrique Iglesias removed that mole on his face? Why do you think flat-chested women get breast implants?

Unfortunately for short guys, there is no surgery that can fix what they feel is wrong. The surgeon who figures that one out will be rolling in dough – believe that.

In the end, does height really matter that much when women are looking for love? Perhaps initially, a woman may not be attracted to a man who is shorter, but if he’s charming, successful and smart, I’m pretty certain his height can be overlooked.



Of course, plenty of women have disagreed with my assessment. What do you think?

  • Erik

    just a footnote on the idea that tall men provided an advantage in prehistory: genes for shortness or smallness provide benefit during starvation. Look at any famine in history and you’ll see the tall, muscular guys died like flies, where short wimpy David Spade types made it through to love another day. Wars: tall guys have it. Hunting: shorties win (apparently deer can see sasquatch coming through the woods better). So short guys know this: your genes are alive and well today because they saved an ancestor’s life in the not too distant past. Or at least allowed him to sneak into the tall guy’s harem undetected. Keep up the good work.

  • Alex

    Shorter guys have shorter penis. That’s what I think, generally.

  • Steve

    Thank you Vanessa for a great post =)

    I’ve seen short guys with loads of women. Women that are taller than them too. After all, Tom Cruise is a short man by those standards (5’7). Is he unattractive?

    Maybe *some* women in *some* situations need tall guys, but not all?

    Besides I think caring about what women want is generally a bad strategy. In my own experience, it’s been easier to attract women when I don’t really want them.

    So if I would walk around feeling I’m not good enough for a woman because I’m short/bald/fat, I would naturally want to prove that assertion wrong by trying harder to get someone, right?

    And that’s when I become unattractive to her. Logic being because I want her so much, or I want something so much, I have to be a bad catch. If I were a good catch, I wouldn’t be *that* insisting.

    So if you’re reading this and feel you’re too short/bald/fat or whatever, here’s my advice: Fuck em.

    You don’t want a woman whose ego can’t see beyond height or waistline. She’ll never be happy anyway, so why bother with her? Would you even want to fit her arbitrary “criteria”?

    Learn to recognize ego and walk away.

    You are awesome!

    Open your eyes to people that share that opinion. There will be women among them.

  • short asian

    its funny because growing up in an asian culture the emphasis on being tall is more evident than in north america. Afterall, its all relative at some point in your life base on who you see on a daily basis. Then you know there’s only so many people you can deal with in your life time- so if you choose to be with people that judge base on your superficial features, do you really want to spend your life around them?

    By the way, I had plenty of women.. and even men like me for the way I am.. short and sweet..

    so none of this B.S. about being the ideal weight/height/looks because you’ll never find happiness by being always conscious about how other ppl percieve you.

  • Mo

    Funny how so many women are so WRONG about men’s height not to mention EXTREMELY SHALLOW!! But anyways, if you do your actual research it proves that it has NOTHING to do with men’s height that women constantly want taller kids it’s the women that if they are on the taller side they are the ones the reproduce the taller childern NOT men. Look it up on wikipedia!!!! AGAIN IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MEN’S HEIGHT!!! HA HA HA you women a looking at men’s height all for NOTHING!!! Yes the TRUTH hurts ha ha ha :) .

    Like in this article the lady from the reality tv show saying the guy was “to short” to date and her friends made a pact to not date short guys. These are the women that are completely shallow, self absorbed, thinks the “world” revolves around them and they are the types that will ALWAYS be looking for that “perfect guy” which by the way DOESN’T EXIST!!!! NO SUCH THING AS PERFECT!! It’s just like when people go through life after graduating college and wanting that “perfect job” and thinking that they are “entitled” tell you what you will be one lonely person going through life like that and you will never EVER be happy!! You’ll never be happy even if you marry the super tall jackass/douche these type of women will always find something wrong with him and keep moving on from guy to guy to guy, she’ll be married 6,7,8 times have all sorts of kids from different marriages and be a complete bitch. But what she won’t recognize is that her not being happy comes from her and she is not happy with herself thus know one would want to be around her.

  • Happy

    You are so wrong! I dated so many guys, all of them tall, at least 6’0. Well, now I am engaged with a guy 5’5 my size, and he’s bigger than all of them! Hahaha! Not to mention a lot smarter. The problem with tall guys are that usually they are not only small but soft. Sorry to say that, but its sadly true. Maybe it has nothing to do with height, who knows. I hate shallow people because they are the ones that are really insecure of themselves. They need other people to feel good and better. I hate when other guys flirt with me because they think they are better than my fiancee, and then I love their faces when I prove them wrong.

  • Array528

    Dude… I agree with you, but PLEASE! Learn to spell. You give us short-rounds a TERRIBLE name!

  • randomwordsisism

    hilarious i love it. and true!

  • array528

    You’re a CUNT Alex…

  • Chuck Jones

    The only thing that annoys me is when women said they have ‘packs’ that they won’t date short guy’s. Are women really sitting around talking about how they hate short guy’s so much they won’t allow ANYONE to dat them? That’s a problem. It’s bordering on hatred, which is wrong -you can’t hate someone be because you aren’t attracted to them. I’m not attracted to tall or fat women – same with most men – doesn’t mean we sit and birch about them

  • StEwPiD_MoNkEy

    As a combat vet. No tall guys do not do well in war. they make easier targets, have less to take cover behind and are percieved more as a threat. hehehe.
    The rest is really on point.

  • Miss “shallow”

    I’ve been seeing this guy that is two inches shorter than me, and I’m 5’3! Everything about him is perfect, except his height. He’s sweet, respectful, cute, successful, romantic, funny and smart. Everything I would want in a guy, BUT I’m not sure if I can look past his height. I feel guilty and shallow. I want to be able to sit in my mans lap, not have him sit in mine. I want to feel protected by my man, I don’t want to be the protector. I want him to be able to carry me out on our wedding day. I want to feel small next to my boyfriend. No woman wants to feel like Sasquatch when she’s with him. I’m going to continue seeing him, hoping I can get past his height…. But I don’t see it happening, it just bothers me way too much. I’m already very short as it is… So to have him be a whopping 2 inches shorter is just uncomfortable for me.. We’ll see I guess.

  • Angelo

    Why does this article sound like it was written by a fat chick? Author obviously has some of her own insecurities she’s working trough.

  • Suz

    I married a shorter, older man and he is wonderful! Stick with it! Yours sounds great. To be honest, people look at you with envy because they see you are a strong person willing to ditch status quo, do the RIGHT thing and live well free of judgement. I’ve been married 8 years to my husband whose an inch shorter and 75lbs lighter (I am pretty though) and no one EVER has said a word about it. Sometimes it is a little odd feeling like people are looking, but f- ‘em. It’s my wonderful life and he is the most terrific father to our children- I really lucked out!!!

  • mikhaelis

    You are guilty and shallow. Enjoy being 1) a single mom with multiple “baby daddy” from all those tall men with no prospects you get give your vagina the tingles or 2) the 40 yr old cat lady no one wants. I sincerely hope this guy ditches you and finds someone worthy of the great qualities he brings to the table.