Something fishy is going on. For a while now, you’ve noticed some changes in your girlfriend’s behavior. She’s distant, busy and seems almost secretive. Is she cheating on you? Maybe. Don’t jump to any conclusions, but look for these warning signs so you can decide how to proceed.
Warning Level One
Warning Level One is often first indicators of cheating, but are just as often totally innocent. You don’t need to worry too much about any one of these but if you’re experiencing all of them…
Signs she’s cheating #1
She’s less affectionate
As unpleasant as it is to contemplate, she could be cheating because she’s lost interest, or she’s lost interest because she’s cheating. Either way, there’s no way she wants to be close to you. Disregard this sign if one or both of you have been ill recently.
Signs she’s cheating #2
She takes better care of herself
Now this could happen for many reasons, from wanting to impress a new lover or keeping a New Year’s or birthday resolution to just sick of being the “jeans and sweatshirt girl” at work. Don’t rely on this evidence alone.
Signs she’s cheating #3
She spends no time with your friends and family
Where once she was down for a night of hockey with the boys or having coffee with your folks, she now avoids these engagements as much as possible.
Signs she’s cheating #4
You’re fighting more
This isn’t necessarily a sign of cheating either, you two could both just be extra stressed. On the other hand, your lady might be trying to justify her two-timing behavior by lashing out at you, picking fights so she can feel like you’re in the wrong, too.
Warning Level Two
These clues are a little less easily explainable, and should cause you to pay a bit more attention to what she does.
Signs she’s cheating #5
She changes her schedule drastically
Since when does your girl have to work overtime every Saturday? Or go to the laundromat at 8 p.m. on Fridays? Or sign up for an early a.m. Pilates class when you know she hates morning traffic? Since she needed more excuses to get out of the apartment, that’s when. It’s not likely she’s doing it solo.
Signs she’s cheating #6
She starts using “I” not “We”
Somehow, all of a sudden, the two of you aren’t a unit anymore. She’s going out for dinner on her own, joining a book club, planning a cool mini-vaycay and buying new flatware. At one time, these would have been things you talked about and decided on together. You’re feelings don’t factor in anymore, because she has mentally (and physically) opted out of your partnership.
Signs she’s cheating #7
Her friends act weird around you
Allow me the generalization of claiming that women find total secrecy a difficult thing to maintain. If she’s being unfaithful, chances are, your girl has told at least one close friend or family member about it. They, in turn, may have spilled the proverbial beans, or at least feel badly for you. If you notice her friends or relatives avoiding your eyes or acting generally nervous and awkward, it could be a sign that they know something they can’t tell you.
Oh, it might be a surprise vacation or birthday party for you, but your birthday isn’t for six months and you’ve already been camping this summer…