Cecily Knobler is the author of new hilarious relationship/dating book, “She’s Crazy, He’s a Liar” that explores the dating highs and lows of entire relationships. This is a witty quick read that features personal stories and helpful dating tips in the hopes of guiding both sexes into understanding what the other is really thinking. Knobler is also a seasoned comedian who writes and hosts entertainment reports and film reviews for “Live From Hollywood,” a daily morning show featured on 20 FM stations.
Reader question #1: Why men suddenly lose interest
I have been dating Jonah for 3 years and was banking on marrying him, but suddenly, his behavior has completely changed.
He stopped calling me completely and whenever we do meet up, he acts so aloof like he doesn’t want to be with me.
When I ask him what’s going on, he tells me I’m crazy and that nothing is wrong, but he simply is not the man I used to date. He’s distant, argumentative and downright rude. The only thing I can think of for his behavior is that a couple of weeks ago, we had a pregnancy scare (but it was negative).
Is it possible that this changed his mind about being with me?
Dating expert Cecily Knobler’s answer:
One of three things is happening here.
Either Jonah does still have feelings for you, but is taking you for granted and now that you’re three years in, feels he doesn’t have to “work as hard” to make you happy.
Or, like you suspected, it’s possible that he is backing away due to lack of interest or a desire to leave the relationship.
A third scenario is that he’s going through something else in his life, unrelated to you, that is causing him to appear rude and/or irritable and he’s having a tough time communicating it to you.
No matter the answer, Jonah is showing his true colors and the real question shouldn’t be “did he change his mind about being with you”, but rather, “do you want to be with him?”
The person you end up with for a long-term partner should be your best friend. He should be able to communicate what’s going on his life and he should respect you enough to avoid that passive aggressive bs. You’re worth more than that.
If you ask yourself “do I want to be with him?” and the answer is still yes, you have nothing to lose by asking him point-blank if he’s still two-feet in.
If he, once again, impatiently tells you you’re “crazy” for asking, then you have your answer. This doesn’t make him a horrible guy, but it does convey that he doesn’t respect your concerns, which, in the long-run, will lead to more issues.
Good luck! I know that three years is a long time to invest in a relationship so I hope it works out. But if it doesn’t, remember; there are always other “Jonahs” in the sea.