7 Signs He’s A Mama’s Boy

Signs he's a mama's boy

Signs he's a mama's boy

You began dating a man you thought was perfect, but with every passing day you began noticing something strange about his relationship with his mother. You’re beginning to get a sneaking suspicion that your man is mama’s boy.

While the signs that he’s a mama’s boy range from mild to downright creepy, if you’re guy displays all the following signs, you might want to rethink your future with him.

Signs he’s a mama’s boy #1

He talks to her every day

It’s one thing if your guy talks to his mom once a day because she has no one in the world but him (which is still a scary thought), but if he and his mom have telephone conversations multiple times a day to gossip or just tell each other the little things that girlfriends usually tell one another, head for the hills.

What makes this so frightening is the fact that when anything significant, or insignificant happens in his life, the first woman he thinks to call is his mom, not you.

Signs he’s a mama’s boy #2

He refers to her all the time

If you make him pancakes, he tells you how his mom makes them (and, of course, his mom’s are better); if you rent a movie, he mentions that his mom never liked horror films.

At every turn in your relationship, his mother manages to creep into the conversation to the point where you begin to get nauseated. But you shouldn’t get nauseated. You know why? Because his mom would never do that.

Signs he’s a mama’s boy #3

He compares you to her

You thought it was cute when you began dating and he told you how much he loves and respects his mother. You even thought it was charming when he told you that he’d consider himself lucky if he married someone like her.

But now that you’re in it, he’s beginning to really push the envelope by comparing everything you do or say to the way his mother does it. Of all the signs that he’s a mama’s boy, this is one that will wear thin quickly.

Signs that he’s a mama’s boy #4

She feeds & cleans for him

Even though he lives on his own, his mother goes to his place to clean up for him and drop off food. It seems that she still babies him after all these years.

And he loves it. He even manages to justify that he’s too busy to cook and clean, and since his mom has no problem doing it, he lets her. Or what’s worse; he pays her to take care of him.

Signs that he’s a mama’s boy #5

He tells her private things about you

The last time you went over to his mom’s place (which is probably weekly), she asked you if your yeast infection had dissipated. Shocked and utterly confused, you answered “yes” and were quick to change the subject.

Lo and behold, your boyfriend told his mom about your little affliction and thought nothing of it. You, on the other hand, begin to wonder what the hell else he has revealed about you.

Signs that he’s a mama’s boy #6

She plays a role in his choices

Before he makes any decision, whether it be buying a home with you or heading on a fishing expedition with the boys, he consults his mom for her input.

What’s worse is that her advice is usually taken as gospel and there’s nothing you can do or say about it. And if you try, whoa! Your boyfriend will huff and puff and get mighty upset with you. Mommy would never do that!

Signs that he’s a mama’s boy #7

He doesn’t defend you

If you and he are in the presence of his mother and she’s says something insulting like, “Remember your ex-girlfriend, David? Oh, she was a fantastic girlfriend. It would be great if you found a woman like her,” he doesn’t say a word in your defense.

But if you dared to say anything remotely insulting about his mother in private, like “I can’t stand it when your mom belittles me,” he immediately jumps to her defense. It seems you just can’t win.

Signs he’s a mama’s boy prevail

If you’re prepared to put up with a man who has an Oedipal complex, then more power to you, but if you can foresee the future and it’s already getting on your nerves, you need to face the fact that you will not be able to change the situation.

A boy who loves his mother dearly won’t stop because it’s hurting you. He’d rather let you go than lose his mother. And before it comes down to an ultimatum that you’re going to lose, you should run, not walk, away.

  • http://thedatingmarketplace.com/ Nicole Johnson

    Great post Trevor; you are spot-on !

    Unfortunately, Mama’s Boy Syndrome is toxic to the Son, as well as the Mother.
    It takes a very special, patient woman to help a man acknowledge how damaging this unhealthy bond is…

    Cheers,

    Nicole Johnson

  • Anon

    thank you for this post. i just got dumped by my boyfriend, shortly after another fight about his mother. she is a nice woman but just TOO over-bearing. as you say, he choose mama over me though. i am sad but trying to tell myself that it’s better now than later.

  • Countrygirl

    This article was extremely helpful to me as I just realize this was EXACTLY the problem with the last guy I dated. Except it wasn’t just his mother, but his sibling also contributed to his failed relationships. I went over the things that didn’t add up a 1,000 times in my head as he was a good person and so was his family. I do believe a close bond with your mother is a good thing as an adolescent, but there is a time to break away as a grown man.

  • M.M.

    I am sorry that you found out this way. It is a good thing to find out now than later. I feel your pain.

  • Iamdetermined

    I dated a mama’s boy and I was not familiar with the “red” flags.  He was the most agreeable and loving boyfriend I had every had and we had a wonderful six months together.  We met in August and were inseparable the entire time.  We officially were living together in his condo the following January and we were planning our wedding for the spring.  By our 7 month anniversary his mother became involved and within a matter of days, he turned his back on me. I moved out (with no place to go).  I was shocked, confused and deeply hurt not understanding how someone who says I love you and I can’t wait to make you my wife can do a 180 and reject you with silence.  It has been almost 2 months and he has not once called to check on me or even ask if I was ok.  It was extremely painful but after the 4th week I made a decision that I was not going to allow his stupidity to ruin the rest of my life.  I have finally secured an apartment and I am picking up the pieces are starting over.  I am not allowing this experience to discourage me or disappoint me.  I am expecting and I will find love again!

  • criss

    thank you for this post.  i got engaged last month and i’ve started to notice these warning signs and after yet another fight about his beloved mother being rude to me and me being “oversensitive”, “manipulative”, and “out of my mind” i have to decide what i need to do…and unfortunately it’s come down to relationship counseling or break-up…but i am starting to think break-up is the better option for me…

  • http://www.facebook.com/leesa.fletch Leesa Fletch

    Thanks for this, and it is so true, a mama’s boy will always choose his mama over you if it comes down to it. I dated someone exactly like the above description, plus he received multiple text messages from his mum through every date, he cancelled dates at the last minute to attend to her emotional needs, gave me the silent treatment when I accidentally offended her, and was tucked into bed by her at night. The final straw was wanting his parents to live with us once married. Thank God that was the end of our relationship. It took me a long time to recover from my self-esteem being crushed in this way. Thanks for sharing :)

  • amna

    Its really a shame that my husband chose to live with his mother rather than live with me away from his mum.. sad but need to move on and live life to the fullest.

  • Guest

    I was once married to man whose mother was the strictest teacher in school. She taught me for 10 years. I got married and found:

    1. She folded his underwear after doing laundry

    2. She made excuses for his temper. He had misbehaved with her through-out her life, the teacher-mother had never even reprimanded him.

    3. She used to cry after a fight with him but found faults with my parents not her upbringing

    4. She made excuses when he spit into the food.

    5. Here’s the rub:
    She and the son had perfect understanding how NOT to act in public. She wanted a different kind of man for her daughters, Nothing like her husband and her son.

  • Guest

    Please take my word that it is much better to walk away now. I wish I had been dumped before the wedding or had NOT listened to my own parents and dumped him. But did not any better.

  • Ashley

    I dumped the mama’s boy. Very sad. This guy has never paid rent in his life, does not pay his bills, she even makes dinner for him Everyday! No wonder you son in 27 years old and never dated before. Nice guy but I could not handle it, Big turn off. Like I was dating his mom who was deff jealous I was spending time with her son. One thing to be close to your son but prepare him for the world. Poor guy seems to be living in a cave unable to even function. The last straw was when I was in his car and he ask me if I was going to give him gas money!!!! He makes more $ then me, and does not even pay his bills. Loser and no I did not give it to him, i’m not his mommy.

  • Darwina Anonym

    My fiance is a man who takes care of himself, treats his mom good but isn’t completely tied to her. My mom didn’t like this in the beginning because she thought the mom ‘trains’ the man to be a gentleman; she also thinks there’s nothing wrong with bringing him food, and asked why he has such a ‘bad’ mother that ‘makes’ him cook on his own!! Can you believe it!! I am so happy I found this man and am marrying a man who can take care of me, not someone I have to take care of like a baby.

    I guess I know where you’re coming from; my parents would have loved the typical ‘mama’s boy’ for me … safe, financially secure.. thats ALLLLLL they care about! Is he rich? They never look at the fact that I am beginning my own career and need a man who is independent in other ways, too, and who can support me in other ways.

  • Darwina Anonym

    The grossest comment I hear from many ‘happily married’ women is ‘I have two children; one is my 2 year-old and the other, my husband,’ It’s cute and silly and fluffy on the outside but it just makes me sad.

  • jz

    Well mine cheated cause mom says so. I’m d blame for everything . He calls mom everyday not at all on me an his kids . He don’t want my babies d only time he comes at me cause his mom wants d kids . Feel like a sarogate mom . An of course pain just lost my mom at 51 nobody here for me but my babies. His mom has ruined my life no lie an tore our relationship to threads . Walkin through this one day at a time . Warning signs should have ran.

  • stressed

    I think i got married to one. am I doomed?

  • stressed

    I think i got married to one. am I doomed?

  • stressed

    I think i got married to one. am I doomed?

  • stressed

    I think i got married to one. am I doomed?

  • Lisa Nole

    My fiancé is obsessive compulsive . He feels people are making fun of him and feels hurt and worries about getting germs & is very sloppy. He is full of in complete dreams and ambitions. He over eats & never finishes any thing. Loves to take control of me, yet puts me down. He plays on my weakness and insecurities . He is your type A- Mama’s boy & lived with his Mummy until he moved in with me. He is 39 & does many jobs and always very busy hanging out in some school taking classes. Mama wants us to move into her place & rent mine after we are married. I love him. He avoids my family & they hate him. I don’t know what to do. I am 34.